Support for siblings of blood stem cell transplant patients

If your brother or sister is having a blood stem cell transplant, you probably have a lot of different emotions—and stress. Your health matters, too, so it’s important to recognize when you’re feeling overwhelmed, know when to talk to someone about it and learn how to cope with the stress. 

Everyone shows signs of stress differently. You might notice:

• What and how much you eat has changed  
• You have a hard time sleeping   
• You’re not doing as well in school  
• You get headaches   
• You feel anxious   
• You’re worried a lot   
• You’re angry 

If you notice any of these signs, talk to one of your parents or an adult you trust. They can help you get the support you need.

Different people find different healthy ways to cope with stress. Try one of the tips below to see if it helps you manage your stress.

Routines can help us feel in control when life feels overwhelming. Here are some helpful ways to build your own routine: 

• Talk to your family about setting family time. This can be a chance to talk to your family about how you feel. 
• Try to pick things that can be the same every day, like when you do your homework or how you get ready for bed. 
• Ask your family to let you know about any upcoming changes. Make a family calendar so you all know what’s coming next. 
• Find opportunities to stay involved in school or spend time with your friends. 

Your parents might need to spend extra time focusing on your sibling’s transplant recovery, but other family members or friends might be able to help. Tell your parents about tools like ShareTheCare.org and LotsaHelpingHands.com that can help them organize help from family and friends.

It’s normal for you to have many different feelings about what’s happening. You might feel: 

• Lonely 
• Sad 
• Anxious 
• Jealous 
• Guilty 
• Fearful 

It’s ok that you have these feelings, but it’s important to manage your feelings in a healthy way. Here are some tips you can try: 

• Talk openly and honestly with an adult you trust about the things you’re struggling with. 
• If you’re having trouble talking about how you feel, try drawing a picture and sharing it with your parents. 
• When you’re talking to your parents, try finishing this sentence: “I am worried about ___________.” “I would feel better if ___________.” 
• Start a journal so you can write down your thoughts and experiences. 
• Ask your parents or your sibling’s care team questions. 

This experience is new for everyone in your family. They’re probably experiencing some of the same emotions as you. Don’t hesitate to talk to them if you need help. 

Throughout your sibling’s transplant journey, there will be plenty of times where you need support, too. This isn’t selfish. You need to be able to process what’s happening in a healthy way. Here are some ideas of how you can find support: 

• Ask your parents if you can have a set time where you can talk to them about things that don’t involve transplant and treatment. 
• Celebrate the accomplishments that are happening in your life. 
• Ask a family member or friend to spend time with you if your parents can’t. 
• Give your parents or sibling a hug.