Original published date: 3/13/2025

After having a blood stem cell transplant for AML, Ashlee experienced a new challenge: overcoming the emotional impacts of transplant. She found the support she needed through NMDP.

Ashlee was living a life she loved in New York City filled with hopes and dreams of what the future held. But in late 2018, her life took an unexpected turn. Doctors diagnosed Ashlee with a type of slow-growing blood cancer called chronic myeloid leukemia (CML).

Usually, doctors can manage CML with medicines. However, those medicines didn't work for Ashlee after about a year of treatment. In March 2020, right as the COVID-19 pandemic was hitting, she got a call from her oncologist at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan.

"He immediately said, 'I have to tell you, it's not good news. The game has changed, and things are going to be different.' My leukemia had progressed to AML—acute myeloid leukemia —which is a fast-growing leukemia," she shared.

What came next was the start of a journey of physical healing. That was followed by emotional healing that continues today through programs like the NMDP^SM Patient and Caregiver Emotional Support (PACES) program.

"I think my life flashed before my eyes when I heard the AML diagnosis. That long life that I thought I was going to have, I no longer thought I was going to have. I assumed the worst in that moment. It was really scary," Ashlee said.

"That was one of the worst days of my life," Ashlee's husband and caregiver, Todd, remembered. "It was awful. It was like, this is serious now. This is going to be tough. And it was."

Ashlee's doctor told her she needed chemotherapy that would start the next day. She'd also need an allogeneic blood stem cell transplant using cells from a donor. Her transplant team immediately began looking for a suitable donor either in her family or on the NMDP Registry^SM.

On transplant day, Ashlee felt emotions she didn't expect—sadness and loneliness. "People call your transplant day your second birthday. I thought I was going to want to get on a Zoom with a bunch of people and blow a candle out. And I really didn't," she said, adding, "It was Aug. 20, 2020, so I wasn't able to have visitors. It was just a little overwhelming."

"It took time until I started to feel like myself again"

Ashlee's recovery was the most challenging part of her leukemia journey—both physically and emotionally. She spent about five weeks in the hospital after the transplant while her body's immune system began to recover.

"I was so excited that I was getting out of the hospital in the fall because I thought I was going to be able to go on walks. I just didn't have the strength to do that. I was really weak. I was sleeping like a newborn baby," she said.

Then, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Ashlee began to feel a little bit better. "I started to get my strength back. I was so eager to feel better, but it just took time until I started to feel like myself again," she shared.

As her physical recovery continued, Ashlee began the journey of emotional and mental healing.

"When I was going through my transplant experience, I was eager to get through it because it was intense. You just want to live your life. But even when I got through it, I realized that I had a mountain to climb of coping with what my life was going to be post-transplant," Ashlee shared.

"There's this process of physically recovering from the transplant, but really, the mental recovery is a whole separate journey," Todd said. "There was a period where she felt a gap and that there was something missing. She would say to me, 'I need to make more cancer friends.' And I was like, 'Yeah, I can see why you'd need that community.'"

Ashlee found the support she needed at NMDP through the PACES program and as a Peer Connect volunteer.

"It allows those emotions to not be trapped up inside"

The NMDP PACES program is a free individual and group support program for patients and caregivers throughout their transplant journey—from diagnosis through years after transplant. It's offered in English and Spanish.

"This process can be more intense than people realize, and there can be a lot of big changes that come with it both before and after transplant," shared Catalina Palacios, MSW, LGSW, social worker, bilingual, NMDP. "We offer up to eight sessions of free counseling to have someone who can hear your story and be there for you."

"Patients and caregivers often say they feel like the rug was pulled out from underneath them. For some people, they really struggle with anxiety and fear of the future when they're pre-transplant. Many people also struggle with survivorship challenges," explained Hailey Hassel, MSW, LICSW, principal social worker, NMDP.

For patients who have had a transplant, NMDP offers a free virtual support group called Survivorship Chats. The chats are available twice a month in English and once a month in Spanish. They cover a different topic each month, like living with chronic graft-versus-host disease, managing fatigue and navigating relationship changes.

"The Survivorship Chats have given me a space to speak about my experience and process those memories with other people who understand. It allows those emotions to not be trapped up inside," Ashlee shared, adding, "The wildest experience of my life … being able to share that with someone else is priceless."

"I'm dreaming and hoping again"

Along with participating in Survivorship Chats, Ashlee is an NMDP Peer Connect volunteer. The Peer Connect program pairs patients and caregivers with trained volunteers, like Ashlee, to receive support around the transplant process. They'll connect by phone, text or a video call.

"It's so healing to me to be able to be part of that person's world in this really, really hard moment because I get it. I was in their shoes. It's so nice to be able to remind them that they're not alone," Ashlee said.

For people who are going through transplant, Ashlee suggests tapping into the NMDP PACES and Peer Connect programs as soon as they can. "A patient journey is complex. You have doctors who are supporting you with your physical ailments but there are a lot of other aspects that patients and caregivers need support with. NMDP's programs can really support you with that," Ashlee shared.

While the transplant journey isn't easy, Ashlee reminds people that there's hope and joy on the other side.

"All that I was really scared about losing … now I'm dreaming and hoping again. And I just took a different pathway here than I expected. I'm really, really excited for the future and I love my life now."